In the tradition of Finley Peter Dunne’s Mr. Dooley, the friendly Irish bartender of a century and more ago, Struggles For Justice will make periodic visits to Uncle Tom’s Cabin where Uncle Tom dispenses his wisdom to friends and foes alike. It would be a serious miscalculation to conclude that this Uncle Tom is an Uncle Tom.
Fox News Business Channel is running a series this week called “The Makers And The Takers” to dramatize the injustice of people living off the largesse of the United States Government and attacking entitlement programs. They contrast this with the virtues of the business class who make the wealth the takers live off of.
Brothers and sisters gather ’round. There’s plenty of cold ones in the fridge as the friendly man from Miller Brewing Company [product placement]has come by as usual today to give us all a taste of the Good Life. I hope you’ve been careful not to park your Cadillacs all over my finely manicured lawn. Oh, and if you see my welfare check lying about somewheres I simply haven’t had the energy even to go cash that little baby yet, so keep your hands off my gravy train you hear?
For today we have to deal with the great question of the makers and the takers. Fox News has been doin’ us all a great public service this week by alertin’ us to the fact of our slacker ways and the evil machinations of us all in taking government entitlements so freely and without a bit o’ remorse in our hearts. The rich slave away to make the money on Wall Street that we simply take without so much as a ‘by your leave sir.’
Yo! Judge Neopolitan Ice Cream! You said that people who take social security were somehow lazy and unworthy of receiving it. Last time I saw a paycheck when there were real jobs in America for working stiffs they took out a bunch of my money for things like social security and medicare. Now I worked for years and years and have never saw a penny of that yet. If we’re going to adopt your version of reality here we’re all going to have to have all that money back first and with interest.
Stuart Varmint! Now listen to me folks. This guy is obviously a Brit or something. The Redcoats have come and been here for a long while. Why hasn’t Paul Revere told us about this? Hasn’t someone checked his Green Card or somethin’? Just why are we lettin’ this foreign dude tell us where we are supposed to be on the economic food chain?
And then there’s that cute blonde who smiles a lot and sits most mornings between a couple of preppy guys on Fox News They can keep her on. She’s nice to look at and I don’t have to pay attention at all to what she says cause there’s nothing worth listening to coming out of her mouth at all.
Now let’s see if we can test this little theory of theirs by puttin’ it into practice. I think they call this a hypothetical or something. Let’s say you’ve got a rich banker who works for a company say like Gold-man Sacks or somethin’. So this guy who’s pullin’ down a couple hundred G’s a year drops what he’s doin’ and heads for some city say like Newark, or Cleveland, or Dee-troit or Moowaukee. We give him what you can get for housing with public asssistance in these places on a welfare check, get him his Foodstamp allotment and let him go to it. Just tell me which is bigger: a welfare or unemployment check or the hundreds of thousands of G’s this dude gets for guessing what the number on stocks and what the price of food or oil is gonna be next Mother’s Day?
When the rich come runnin’ and screamin’ out of their gated communties and beg to be put on welfare or unemployment or to take an average say social security check instead of what they have cookin’ then we can start talkin’ their jive. Haven’t seen it yet. Wonder why not? If bein’ on entitlements or workin’ for the govement’s so lucative why aren’t they doin’ it? Makes no sense.
Okay, let’s look at govement employment. Here is another hypo–thetical. I guess it looks pretty good. You get nine month vacations in exotic places like Iraq, Afghanistan or LiIb-YA or Dub-YA, and who know’s where next. Here the entitlements come in hot lead. You can take them all day and all night long there!. Why you can take your basic AK-47 small arms fire, some slugs right into the chest of your body armor. When takin’ RPG or mortar fire you can hug the earth over there and do some of that scientific work you been promisin’ to do all your life but never get around to say like some geology, soil science or an archeological dig. Then you can go for a drive in your big army provided vehicle that just rules and run yourself right over an IED and see how that replaces the mornin’ coffee.
Heck, you can do that right here in the USA too. Workin’ for the govement you can run for and be elected to Congress or somethin’ and hang out in a shoppin’ mall and check out thirty-one round clips. If you work in law enforcement and are killed in the line of duty your widda’ will get dressed up all in black dress and heels and hide behind a big hat and veil and cry a lot for ya’. All those guys and gals in blue marchin’ so nice and the pretty lights a the police cars in honor of what ya’ done in the line of duty. Firefighters can to it too. Government bureaucrats, can’t live with ”em but you can’t live without ’em.
Now the problem Brothers and sisters with thinkin’ that entitlements and govement assistance is somehow evil or somethin’ is been twisted and turned and spliiced and diced and dealt to you like some card shark in the casino dealin’ you a bad hand. Hate to say it but we can’t possibly steal as much as the chislers at the top of the economic food chain do every day even if our lives depended on it and they do. You see it’s all in the blame pattern. That’s right, the blame pattern.
In our country the blame pattern always flows down: from the top. When these people are gettin’ ready to take you for a ride they blame you for somethin’ you didn’t do and you get all worked up over it and start fightin’ amongst yourselves while all the time they are puttin’ their gold into bags like Gold-man Sacks does every day. This latest jive from the Ailes crowd is just cover for the Medicare and Social Security reform scam they have goin’.
What we’ve got to do Brothers and sisters is to get out those mirrors and bounce those blame patterns right back upward to where it belongs. You see those folks don’t really make. Its the people who make things and get what we need to us everyday by honest hard work. And those folks at the top have a takin’ scam runnin’ that is a sight to behold. You just have to look up where the real takin’ is goin’ on.